So, this morning I’m in the bathroom trowelling on makeup and wishing I could transplant what’s on my upper lip to my head and blowing drying my hair. With a new can of hairspray in hand, I try and fluff everything up to represent my native state well. And then I see it. I shouldn’t be seeing it. If anything, I should be seeing “them”. And I’m thinking, “What? When did this happen? HOW did this happen?” I’m not symmetrical. My left earlobe sticks out about 1/8″ inch further than my right. I’m not kidding. I’ve never noticed this before. Here, I’ll show you . . . See? OMGosh. Did this just happen? How could I have missed this? My world has just been turned upside down. Inside out. I’m not perfect. Don’t tell my kids . . . or my husband. I need chocolate. Pityparty out. Suz
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